Someone brought up the argument that the vast majority of Twilight haters are the ones who've never read it, and they made a legitimate point. In the interest of fairness, I decided to read a little bit of Twilight today, finding a free excerpt online. While I already know and despise the premise and characters, I thought that maybe I could find a certain respect for it for it's literary qualities.

My suspicions were confirmed. Just... Dear God. The prose is awful. It's dull and lacks a distinct voice, and everything needs a color descriptor, apparently. It reads like bad fanfiction, and I could see the painfully transparent "Lookit! Bella isn't perfect! She's really pale (but in a sometimes attractive way)!" attempts at making her not look like a Mary Sue.

I now have founded criticism for it, and I feel completely justified in my "Go fuck yourself" response to people trying to get me to read it. I will now stare at my glowing white rectangular screen for the next three hours, whilst reflecting upon my cold and beautiful head cold. It is uncomfortable, and no one accepts me for it. Why wasn't I born tan, athletic, and blond? Oh, and without a head cold.

Angst.

Current Mood: sick

Bratz Dolls are being discontinued, for which I am inordinately pleased. I can at least respect Barbie. She's got a career (several, actually), and her own little pink convertible and dream house that she bought with her own money. She realized Ken was a loser and dumped him, and is now living it up as a single, healthy woman. Barbies are still gorgeous, but the newer ones wear less makeup, have smaller boobs, a wider waist, and even a little bit of pudge.

Bratz are just terrible little creatures with hideous proportions. They party incessantly while dressed like skanks. Even the babies look slutty. It makes me feel like an old woman, but I don't want those kinds of values being impressed upon the little girls of the world. Little girls need Barbie again.

I've fallen a little in love with Amelie Poulain. I don't care if she's a fictional character. She's utterly adorable.

Current Mood: smitten

Holy. Balls.

I just had simultaneously the best and worst week ever.

Thanksgiving was spent with Sam and Dylan and their family. They're a really nice group of people, and any time spent with the twins is inevitably awesome. It was stress free, and I did not worry I wasn't doing my homework.

Then I came home. Apparently, I'd left my computer on all weekend, and it stopped working. Naturally, my first thought was that it'd fried itself to death. Upon multiple reboots, I kept getting the blue screen of holy shit death, and was convinced I'd lost everything on here. Coupled with the fact my external drive broke earlier in the week (which has/had all my schoolwork for the quarter on it: I need to scramble the next two weeks to get everything done). I worried myself crazy for two days, then Captain N came over.

He looked at my blue screen of death, told me it was a memory error, and switched around my memory sticks after blowing all the dust off them. Lo and behold: it started up. With about three billion viruses on it's hull. Well, 147, but still: mystery of why my computer was dead solved, folks. Avast got rid of the really nasty ones (I'm looking at you, autorun.inf), and I'm currently living with some minorly irritating spyware that's turned my amazing Steven Colbert wallpaper into an ad telling me I need to get some anti spyware shit, preferably from the link it's helpfully provided, which is in all likelihood more trojans and spyware. My mouse/keyboard is also getting interrupted by background programs I can't see become one of the 147 viruses disabled both my Registry editor (fixed) and my Task Manager. The first was an easy fix by means of a VBS, but the tricky bastards have physically hidden any means of re-enabling my Task Manager. Once I find the correct procedure, I'm regediting the fuck out of it.

I also need to get some good anti-spyware stuff. I love love love Kapersky, but I'm not sure if a second trial will work. It's saved me once, I may be willing to pay to have it do so again.

Current Mood: relieved

Dear Jalapeno Plant:

I have been good to you. Relatively speaking. You may have spent your first four months on domestic living in a glass jar (three of which for science, the rest of which from laziness/frugality), but you, you hardy little bastard, grew magnificently. I kept you adequately watered and fed tasty little green plant foods which made you grow to window height. I gave you a new pot. When you started getting too heavy to hold yourself up (in part due to the funky little bend in your stem which you've had since I got you as a little seedling), I gave you a dowel and a rubber band to support you. When you frequently get infested with aphids while in my fucking kitchen, I spray you with houseplant friendly bug killer. It's supposed to keep your fruits edible. You have thrived.

You've been downright flaccid lately. At first, I thought I was watering you too much, So I let you dry for a few days. There was no change. Your healthy green leaves are still as verdant as ever, but roughly the consistency and firmness of a rubber glove. I moved you to a new place in the apartment, where you are in the way of all my roommates, who tolerate our love. You look depressed. It then dawned on me that you, little plant, are a summer crop. It's nearly winter. I think you might be trying to die. Ignore the siren call of the wild: I am your God now.

It makes me rather sad. I'm contemplating buying you a new pot with gravel and mulch and a lot deeper than your current pot. The internet says you'll like that.

EDIT:
Dear Jalapeno Plant:

In a last ditch effort to resuscitate you without having to pay money to do so, I aerated your soil last night by digging around in it with a fork. You seemed to like that so much! You're standing upright and are getting less droopy. I discovered that I am underwatering you. Your roots were brown and dry when I dug through them. While you seem to be, as a whole, getting better, quite a few of your leaves have gone crispy at the edges now that they're no longer droopy. I will try my best to anticipate your watering needs.

And Philodendron, don't think I've forgotten about you! I'm overwatering you, which is odd, considering how I only seem to remember you're there once or twice a week. Your lower leaves were yellow and rotting, as well as some of your roots. I will water you less. Though I know it's winter-ish and you don't like growing now, I want you to be freaking huge. The internet says to let your soil dry between periodic waterings, and to mist you. I knew I bought that spray bottle for a reason.

Current Mood: impressed

Today, I did my uncivil duty and removed a number of Prop 8 signs from the area surrounding my home. They're sitting on my kitchen table, and I wish to make a cloak from the pelts of the fallen. ...But it'd probably send the wrong message.

A passing car did their civil duty to inform me it was illegal to remove political signs, free speech, etc. I did not feel guilt, not even when I flipped them the bird.

The prospect of California voting to take rights away from people makes me a bitchy, irrational person who thinks that stealing signs on election day will make a difference.

Current Mood: accomplished

My teacher kissed me on the top of the head today.

Current Mood: confused

Who should you vote for?

Barack Obama				90
John McCain	-54

You expected: Barack Obama
Your recommendation: Barack Obama

Party: Democratic
Born: 1961, Honolulu, Hawaii
Family: wife and two daughters
Career: Business International Corporation; NYPIRG; attorney and constitutional law lecturer
Political career: Member of the Illinois State Senate from the 13th district, 1997-2004. Incumbent Junior Senator from Illinois since 2005
Hot topic: Universal healthcare
Did you know? He is the only African American currently serving in the US Senate
Supported by: Oprah Winfrey, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, George Clooney, Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Michael Jordan, Jamie Foxx, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Ed Norton, Jennifer Aniston, Zach Braff, John Cleese, Leonard Nimoy and Brooke Shields

Not at all surprised. And hell, if Zach Braff, Jon Cleese, and Leonard Nemoy agree with me...

The following is a comment that was too long for the picture I was leaving it on, proving that I a rambly fucktard. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but it's safe to say I apparently don't agree.

( Long, Naruto related rambles my friends list couldn't give less of a fuck about. )

Current Mood: facepalm

I just lost a friend. Or, more accurately, just discovered I lost a friend early this morning. Margo knew she was dying. She told me on St. Patrick's Day, amongst filling me with Bailey's and cuddling in front of her husband. She told me she had six months. She told me I was beautiful and that I should visit her more. She had bruises around her wrist, and six months seemed like it was forever.

Five months later, she's gone. She had arterial swelling, which in turn caused the rest of her organs to shut down. She was in the hospital for a week, and spent her last few days unconscious.

I felt like I was punched a little on the insides, but am feeling better since there are people willing to hug me around.

Current Mood: sad